Stress has become a way of life for most American teenagers. They’re bombarded from every angle with pressures and expectations, leaving too little time for unwinding and resting. When Group Magazine asked 20,000 Christian teenagers about their top needs, the third most common response was “I need help managing or dealing with the stresses in my life.” Pennsylvania youth minister Jana Snyder said of today’s kids, “I sense an overwhelming burden to be successful and to be busy doing 100 different things every day.”

In a recent Associated Press/MTV survey, 13- to 17-year-olds said school is their main worry. Stress, not relationships, is the hottest topic of conversation at school, says one teenager. Another adds, “I’m just really overwhelmed. I even compete with my parents about who’s stressing more.”

Child psychiatrist Thomas McCormack suggests several ways that parents can help ease teenagers’ academic stress. First, discuss your expectations. Assure kids that you’re proud of them when they try their best, no matter the outcome. Second, stay involved. Show interest in your teenagers’ classes, extracurricular activities, and schedules. Be available to help or talk when needed. Finally, watch for sudden declines in academic performance. These could indicate a learning disorder or emotional distress (such as depression and anxiety) that requires professional evaluation.

Read on to discover more insights about helping teenagers manage life’s stress.

• Pray, turning your worries over to God.
• Confide your stressed-out feelings to a trusted adult.
• Exercise to release tension and to benefit from your body’s endorphins.
• Get enough sleep to reduce irritability.
• Eat regularly. Avoid junk food and sugar, as well as “emotional eating.”
• Avoid caffeine—it can increase anxiety
• Avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking drugs.
• Take a bath or shower.
• Pause and do some deep breathing.
• Keep a journal to help process your experiences and feelings.
• Find a new hobby to enjoy together.
• Remember the worst-case scenario. For test anxiety, kids could ask, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if I bomb the test?”
• Break large tasks into little pieces.
• Refuse to demand perfection from yourself or others.
• Learn to say “no” to excessive activities and unrealistic expectations.

• Teenage girls are 55% more likely than teenage boys to say they pressure themselves to get good grades in school. And less than half of the pressured group of girls believes their parents realize how stressed out they are. (ronicohensandler.com)
• Although one major study found that kids from middle-income households experience more stress than their peers, another found that affluent kids are the most stressed, for fear of “falling back.” (AP/MTV; New York Times/CBS)
• An estimated 10% of teenagers suffer from an anxiety disorder. (teenhelp.com)
• Highly stressed teenagers are twice as likely as other teenagers to smoke, drink, get drunk, and use illegal drugs. (alcoholism.about.com)

Tackle the topic of stress by asking your kids these discussion starters:

• How stressed have you been lately? What things cause you the most anxiety, and why? Describe what your body and mind feel like when you’re stressed out.
• What are some ways you cope with stress? Which of these are productive, and which are destructive?
• What amount of stress, if any, is necessary or helpful in life? Would you want to be stress-free? Why or why not?
• Is it sinful to be stressed out? Why or why not? How we can give our anxieties over to God?

PRAY THAT:

1. God will help your teenagers cast all their anxieties and burdens on him because he cares for them (1 Peter 5:7).
2. Your teenagers will put their lives and worries into God’s hands, knowing that he has a perfect plan and purpose for them.
3. Your teenagers will find healthy ways to deal with academic, social, and emotional stress.
4. Your family and home can be a haven for teenagers when they feel overwhelmed by school and life.

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)

Jesus offers respite from the many anxieties and cares of daily life. Because he was fully human, he knows what it’s like to face challenges and expectations. By praying to Jesus and trusting him to help us, we can find peace for our worried hearts and minds.

When Indiana youth worker Scott Greene realized he was getting out of touch with teenagers’ lives, he decided to return to high school. Read his whole account at SimplyYouthMinistry.com.

Walking the halls of Warsaw High School as a 33-year-old sophomore for two weeks was pretty overwhelming at points. I faced fears and insecurities that I haven’t felt since I was in high school myself (back when Michael Jackson and mullets were cool). However, I gained a newfound respect for kids and the pressures they face. Here are a few observations I made:

• Kids don’t own their time. It doesn’t belong to them. If I want to eat lunch at 11:30 instead of at noon, I eat early. I forgot what it was like to not make personal decisions about my time.
• Every day, kids spend a large portion of their hours trying to excel in areas that they aren’t exceptionally good at and possibly don’t enjoy. I know this is a necessary part of education, but I never thought about how frustrating that must be.
• Kids are getting pressure from everyone. One student told me he has 13 bosses: five teachers, one principal, two coaches, two employers, two parents, and a youth pastor. He said every one of these people has expectations for him, and none of those expectations is low. Kids may not have a mortgage or hungry mouths to feed, but their pressures are very real to them. We must keep that in mind, especially if they let us down or don’t live up to the standards we set.
• Kids all want to excel, even if it means excelling at being bad. Adults run so fast and hard ourselves that we have to ration the attention we give teenagers. They’re longing for our love, attention, and focused time. They’re longing to be known—and known well. We must carve out serious time and emotional energy for kids and create environments and schedules that encourage biblical community.

Mainstream Artist

Background: Raised in a Christian home by two pastors, Katy Perry dropped out of high school to pursue a music career. After an unsuccessful Christian album, she shot to fame with her single “I Kissed a Girl.” Perry has been nominated for a Grammy and an MTV Music Award.

Albums: Teenage Dream (2010), One of the Boys (2008), Katy Hudson (2001)

What Parents Should Know: Although Perry still considers herself a Christian, her lifestyle doesn’t jibe with biblical teaching. Behind the cute face and outfits are shocking language and behavior, including Perry’s engagement to controversial and blasphemous comedian Russell Brand.

What Perry Says: “God is still very much a part of my life…. I still believe that Jesus is the son of God. But I also believe in extraterrestrials and that there are people who are sent from God to be messengers, and all sorts of crazy stuff.”

Discussion Questions: For you, how tough is it to have faith? Why do some people consider Christianity “crazy stuff”? Read aloud John 9:13-41. Why didn’t the Pharisees believe in Jesus, despite the evidence? What can we learn from the blind man’s explanation?

Christian Artist

Background: This Christian metal-rock band started back in 1992, but they’ve updated their sound and audience with every album. These frequent Dove award nominees have achieved crossover success, and their songs have been used on TV shows and sports broadcasts.

Albums: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades (2010), Southern Hospitality (2008), Disciple (2005)

What Parents Should Know: Disciple has always been about evangelism. The band even included an extra CD with their early albums so teenagers could give a copy to their non-Christian friends.

What Disciple Says: “Anytime we tried to do something on our own, we couldn’t do it. And anytime we were just content with what we were doing and our hearts were pure before God, that’s when he took us to the people we were supposed to meet, and he made it happen.”

Discussion Questions: What does the word submission mean to you? Why does it have a bad connotation? What does it mean to submit to God? Read aloud Philippians 2:3-8. Why did Jesus submit, even though he knew it involved dying? Should we always submit to authority, even when it involves going against God’s word? Explain.

Movie: Easy A (releases Sept. 17)

Genre: Comedy Rating: PG-13 (for mature thematic elements, including sexuality, language and drugs)

Synopsis: Olive (Emma Stone) is a clean-cut high-schooler whose image changes when a rumor begins that she’s lost her virginity. When Olive’s life starts to parallel that of Hester Prynne’s in The Scarlet Letter, she takes advantage of the school’s rumor mill to advance her social and financial standing.

Discussion Questions: Why do rumors spread so quickly? Once a rumor gets going, is there any way to stop it? Explain. What does it feel like to have a rumor spread about you? What are the short- and long-term consequences of rumors, even if they’re true? Read aloud Proverbs 18:7-8. Why does God oppose rumors? What are some positive alternatives to participating in the spread of rumors?